On the Skinny Bitch Diet.
What's that you may ask?
Well it's the diet that makes you become a skinny bitch. Plain. And. Simple.
{while you're on your way to getting skinny... you're a total bitch because you're pissed off that everyone else gets to enjoy cheeseburgers, cheesecakes, buttttter, you name it}
What does it entail?
Nothing. Just don't eat dumb shit. Like I have been.
Forget my hot wing dip for breakfast. {yeah gross right?!}
Forget my drive thru "one dbl cheeseburger please" at McDonalds.
Forget my
That's it. Goodbye my beloved fatty food friends.
Now, if you think I'm going to exercise. Think again. {that's too much work for me}
Maybe I will get motivated and start running again.
Or hey, remember Tae-Bo?! Ancient right? I used to do that stuff every day after school. {back when I wanted all the Justin Biebs to love my 6 pack.}
That Tae-Bo dude worked me rotten.
But it worked.
Goal?
Be a Skinny Bitch.
{duh}
{omg. i googled to find images of "skinny bitches" and I found out there is a book!}
Not that I'm going to buy it or anything.
They'll throw me all this garbo about working out and blah blah blah.
Not happening.
 |
| This however? More like it. Shit. I wish I looked THIS good eating a cheeseburger {which is the size of Texas by the way} You know what else is the size of Texas? Her BOOBS! OMG. I need to get me some of those. source --------------------------------------------------- |
Thank you all for the sweet comments on twitter, facebook, blog, etc! You all made my day!!
21 comments:
omg this is hilarious!!!! i am totally laughing right now :)
my sister bought that book skinny bitch...DONT GET IT!!! LOL she said it was just about the nasty shit that is in all enjoyable foods. like: coffee, your diet coke ;), meat, chicken...etc
anything that isnt growing in the ground. LOL she said it makes you think about it all, but she didnt stop eating foods LOL
dont deprive yourself of everything you enjoy {bud light lime} just have less :)
btw you look amazing, no need to starve yourself. hello look at that photo you took about a week ago in that dress. you are a hot momma!!!
glad you enjoyed your birthday!!!
so funny! I just found your blog and love it! Following now. :)
first off you made me laugh out loud.
secondly you look amazing and do not need that diet.
thirdly I do and um is that Audrina Patridge?
xoxo
Sums
portion control is my enemy.
You already are a skinny bitch geesh! Drink the skinny girl margarita haha! That burger looks mighty yummy though...and her boobs? Clearly she hasnt had a kid yet, I miss my boobs! Seriously where did they go? Ugh! Hope your night was amazing xoxo
Crap bucket I forgot dude I did my hubbs diet a few weeks back (probably not that great of an idea considering I was knocked up haha, this babe has to be STRONG considering I barely ate for a week) anyways i tracked what I ate on fatsecret.com and kept carbs near or under 100g a day and lost 5 lbs that week, no effing joke! It was insane, because I usually wold eat a box or cheez-its and that is probably two days full of carbs in one setting! 8since I found out were expecting I stopped but I am gonna start back up to keep myself in control vs gaining 5070 lbs like the last two....cow! Haha
I read the book a few years ago, its actually REALLY funny- while bitching you out that you eat awful LOL There is a Skinny bitch cook book too! Good luck!
You are a skinny bitch! But we all have those times we feel like we aren't and doing just a little bit feels so much better. You can do it sister!
ok first yes, get you some boobs if you want them. Best thing I ever did (followed closely by birthing my two children haha!)
anyway, the skinny bitch book. AMAZING. The title throws people off I think, because it isn't about how to be SKINNY, it's about how to be skinny and HEALTHY and OMG, the information in that book is insane. It changed my life. I honestly went cold turkey on SO many things I had been eating/drinking. As in, I used to drink milk by the gallon. After reading that book? Have never ONCE touched it. Neither have my kids. They both drink ricemilk, have never had any dairy besides cheese and organic yogurt.
It talks about how food is processed and made to keep up with demand and the information you will read will change your habits FOREVER, no lie. When I implemented the eating habits of the book, I felt the best I ever had and was SO thin. I think I am going to re-read the book so it's fresh in my mind. GET IT or give me your address and I will send you mine :)
mmm, that cheeseburger looks great!!
haha. Good luck. I re-start my skinny bitch diet once a month. It's great :)
Um...Ok aren't you already a skinny bitch? You should go on the skinnier bitch diet, ha ha! After I read the comments I think I might actually want to read that book but I really like my Diet Coke, I don't want to not like it.
Are you still breastfeeding? A while ago I cut carbs and my milk went down like whoa! I had a ton to spare so it didn't matter too much but just something to think about.
Oh and another thing Audrina can Suck it!
Oh and I totally want her boobs too and the flat tummy and hell the cheeseburger too while I'm at it!
I'm seriously laughing out loud.
I think you already might be a skinny bitch! LOL Either way, I can definitely understand wanting to feel more fit and toned. I've been trying to get motivated for a while and just can't! Sometimes I do exercise videos that are on-demand on my cable :)
I'm pretty sure I would do anything to be the skinny bitch that you ALREADY are!! Anything except diet and excersize of course. :)
Ughhhhh I hear you!!! I am on a mondo skinny biotch diet tooo!!
Wedding skinny biotch diet!!
I fell off the wagon today though after a horrible day at work.
So i'm jumping back on!!!
If I could be skinny and still eat that cheeseburger...I might have died and gone to Heaven. Lord have mercy.
Def. don't get the Skinny Bitch book. IT IS. AWFUL. Sending calorie-free hamburger thoughts your way!
I read SKinny Bitch... it reminded me of Food Inc.. just really makes you think about the food you are eating and to eat more clean foods
By the way YOU. LOOK. GREAT.
You are too funny!!!! You already look awesome girl!!
Happy Belated Birthday!!!!
You are already super skinny and look amazing, so go ahead and enjoy those cheeseburgers :)
Happy Belated birthday!
You look amazing already. And I read part of that book. It really makes you think.
But, sadly still hasn't stopped me. I just need to excersize. Oh, how I miss Billy Blanks.
Hahaha you just made me laugh so hard! I love this post. I felt like you were talking about me for a minute. I need this diet. You, however, do not. You had a baby and look fabulous!
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