I Wish.

I've had a rough couple of days at work. Not tough physically, but more so emotionally.
I recently had a young patient (in the teens) that ended up being on life support, pronounced brain dead, and then becoming an organ donor {which is the only positive thing in a sad situation such as this}. Last night? Another teen going through the same process. And all this? Very heavy on my heart.

When my patient's family was told that there was no hope for their daughter, the look on the mother's face, the emotions that she was feeling, the way her world was crumbling down, really shook me up.
I have a daughter. I am a mother. I cannot imagine my baby being taken away from me.

I already have so many fears for her now when she is 7 {almost 8} months old. But right now, I have much more control of her life. Although I cannot prevent God's plan for her, I have a bit more of a grasp on the decisions that are made for her.

Now, when she becomes a teenager. Heck, when she starts going to school. What do I do then?
I know I have to let go. I know that you have to let them discover the world. I know you can't hold them inside and keep them safe forever. Keep them in a bubble, keep them away from the ugliness of the world.

But I want to. I need to. It is painful to imagine her ever getting hurt. Emotionally or physically.

What decisions will she make when she grows up? What path will she take? Will she know danger when she sees it? Will she think of me when making these decisions?

I sometimes wish I had a magic eight ball. I wish I could take a look into her future... and every "bad" thing that may ever happen her so I could prevent it. I could be her little superhero and save her from every little thing that may end up hurting her. Especially anything that puts her life in danger.

I wish there were no such thing as car accidents. But if they have to exist, can we come up with another transit system for our children? Accident proof please.


I wish there were no such thing as drugs and alcohol {well alcohol can stay, just for me and my adult friends}. But if they have to exist, can we please just leave those for the old people. 80s and above. If they croak, at least they lived a long {enough} life. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

I wish there were no such thing as cancer. But if it has to exist, can we please send this little bug over to Mars, lock it up, or come up with a cure already!

I wish there were no such thing as guns. But if they have to exist, can we just use them only for protection please.

I wish there were no such thing as murderers, rapists, and plain old sick people. But if they have to exist, can you please just put them in a car, full of drugs and alcohol, cancer, guns, and go ahead and send them to mars where they no longer can be anywhere close to our children.

I can wish and wish for so many things. But the only smart thing to do, is pray. That God will protect my child, and future children. He may not be able to shelter them from all pains of the world, but to protect them from physical pain, and have a hand on their health.

I just wish...... I had the right remedy.... to keep all our babies safe.

The right answer. The right thing to do.

 Just tell me what it is. And I'll do it. Without skipping a beat.